Dancing With You In My Dreams

The other night I had a dream of Sierra. I was so happy to see her and I picked her up and we were dancing. Sierra didn't say a word but had a smile (as usual). I was screaming for Danny to come see us dancing...to come see Sierra...and I woke up screaming. Not sure what that was about. I was not upset but was so happy in the dream...so happy to be holding her again. I hated waking up from that dream.

The night I had the dream we were at the Bereavement Group Christmas party. They gave us parents a picture (really beautiful) that says "Life Isn't About Waiting for the Storm to Pass...It's About Learning to Dance In The Rain." Maybe that saying struck me more than I thought and that is why Sierra and I were dancing...not sure...only God knows. Thank you, Mary Ann for opening up your home for the party. It was really nice. Thank you Kyleen for the video...it was great.

As Christmas is approaching...I am dreading it more and more. It was Sierra's favorite holiday and she loved every minute of it. I enjoyed watching Christmas through her eyes. Sierra had a light within her that shone so bright and our home just seems so dark now...and so still. It hurts and my heart also hurts for all the parents missing their kids this Christmas. Please...pray for us and for them and hug your babies even tighter.

I changed the bouquet on Sierra's grave last weekend to be more Christmasy. I do silk flowers so the family of cranes won't eat them. It is still so wierd to go there...to see her name on the plaque.

I miss her so much...my baby girl.